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Workshop:
Most recent comments
a few comments / mazHur
a few comments...
http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=55465
on "Why’s and What’s",
Poetry by mazHur
welcome new member / Veronica Valeanu
it is the same idea no matter if you insert comparisons or overuse repetitions - we, will, same- or
on "Metempsychosis",
Poetry by Cristina Dascalescu Dordea
To Corina Gina Papouis / Andreea Maresi
Thanks for your advices. I will take care more with these aspects, especially with the rhythm of poe
on "Shell under nightingale’s song",
Poetry by Andreea Maresi
A typo / Luminita Suse
Lieing ?
on "Change chapter",
Poetry by Andrei Tudora
< comments > / Veronica Valeanu
not exactly a translation
on "Shiny daffodils",
Poetry by Iustina Daniela Cucu
First- / John Willy Kopperud
-you need something before "leaf", namely "a" or "the." Second; I can't make sense of the lin
on "I did not say for long",
Poetry by Elena Zerfus
is... / Corina Gina Papouis
I surprise myself
and
my todays are leaking.
liked the idea of 'thought in thought'...
on "I did not say for long",
Poetry by Elena Zerfus
Andreea! / Corina Gina Papouis
.. try and be consistent with the rhyme and the rhythm of your poem, otherwise it sounds like a brok
on "Shell under nightingale’s song",
Poetry by Andreea Maresi
< comments > / Cătărău Alina - Andreea
It's not so suggestive or something doesn't sound good? At least, the structure is correct. Thank
on "Friendship haiku",
Poetry by Cătărău Alina - Andreea
< comments > / Veronica Valeanu
there are no typos or mistakes here
however smth is not quite all right: you've made a hurly-burly
on "Scar tissues",
Poetry by nica ioana
Because of poetry... / Andreea Maresi
I really like this kind of poetry...I remembered of a special sensible person reading it. I let expe
on "Because of you",
Poetry by Dulau Florin
A sad tale / Cătărău Alina - Andreea
that ends although you wanted it to be endless. I liked very much the manner in which you have writt
on "Story",
Poetry by Andreea Popovici
< comments > / Veronica Valeanu
that's not exactly a poem -perhaps some nostalgic thoughts.
you could have made it look like an ex
on "Breaking waves",
Poetry by nica ioana
< comments > / Veronica Valeanu
[impermanent beauty]seems not such a fortunate choice of words
[incomprehensible red] - creates con
on "Quiet",
Poetry by Oana Alina Iosif
welcome new member / Veronica Valeanu
you wanted the text to be minimal, but this diminishes its power to convince or convey thrills.
it
on "Androgin",
Personals by bradu andreea
I strongly agree with you / Cătărău Alina - Andreea
I like this text, is a sincere page of a journal, I suppose, or at least of a virtual one. It hurts
on "Feeling alone",
Personals by Mitocariu Irina
to Mitocariu Irina / Cătărău Alina - Andreea
Thank you, Irina, for your kind words. I'm glad that you liked my poem. Thanks also for the advice.
on "Dreamer",
Poetry by Cătărău Alina - Andreea
< comments > / Corina Gina Papouis
this reminds me of a song by Enrique Iglesias...however, the text needs a good re-think: do you want
on "Sweety, lovely ping-pong",
Poetry by dorin bregu
fallen / Veronica Valeanu
what might be detrimental here is exactly the choice of rhymes, much too simplistic ones. thus, ther
on "The fallen soldier",
Poetry by Ianus George
< comments > / Veronica Valeanu
some mistakes
but also some parts that could work as thoughts, not as part of a poem.
VV
on "Sweety, lovely ping-pong",
Poetry by dorin bregu
PS: I hate surprises! / Mitocariu Irina
Hi, thank you for your post...I'm happy to see I'm not alone!Thanks and good luck to you, too!
on "alone in my mind",
Personals by Mitocariu Irina
Cheers! / Mitocariu Irina
Hi Alina. I read your poem and I was impressed! You are a very talented girl and I respect the way y
on "Dreamer",
Poetry by Cătărău Alina - Andreea
maybe... someday / Dely Cristian Marian
how will we describe the sun if we cannot get near it?
we may, also, say that happiness could be bo
on "Maybe...",
Personals by Bezem Ana- Maria
Response to Veronica's comments / Corina Constantinescu
Thank you Veronica for your comments. I don't pretend I am a poet, but sometimes I have these thoug
on "The fool",
Poetry by Corina Constantinescu
< comments > / Veronica Valeanu
gazer seems not quite a good choice
on "Faithful Woman",
Poetry by Sârb Olimpia
< comments > / Veronica Valeanu
the images convey beautiful settings, but the means of language are not so well-rendered. there is a
on "A dream train journey",
Poetry by Corina Constantinescu
< comments > / Veronica Valeanu
anchored rather in chains of thought and immediate reality, still far from poetry territories.
a gl
on "Longing",
Poetry by Corina Constantinescu
< comments > / Veronica Valeanu
poetic meaning shouldn't be envisaged in a forceful way (a much too melodramatic choice of terms, i
on "The fool",
Poetry by Corina Constantinescu
< comments > / Veronica Valeanu
Loredana
welcome on Agonia!
rhyme is at stake here but rhyme is the one that makes everything ri
on "Feelings",
Poetry by Loredana Boboc
C.C. / Veronica Valeanu
See through the crystal eye - [see] is too redundant. try another vb.
The sweet soft mist beyond th
on "Through the crystal eye",
Poetry by Corina Constantinescu
< comments > / Claudiu GURGUTA
you need more work on the second stanza and the last one doesn't have your previous fluency found i
on "You tell me",
Poetry by Oana Alina Iosif
< comments > / Corina Gina Papouis
there are some grammar errors and typos in your text...
sorry, I stooped counting them, so...could
on "bloggerr",
Personals by Lesenciuc Teodor
< comments > / Veronica Valeanu
there are errors to take care of
plus, you followed only a single logical chain of ideas around the
on "Lostness",
Poetry by Elena Zerfus
< comments > / Veronica Valeanu
still needing consistent improvements to become a poem.
on "You tell me",
Poetry by Oana Alina Iosif
< comments > / Veronica Valeanu
Deniz, i hope you don't mind
but it looks like you are learning/teaching how to count.
on "100.000.000 things I love and hate",
Poetry by Deniz Aktas
< comments > / Veronica Valeanu
who's
but also too many cliches for a poem
the exclamations turn it into blatant sentences
on "Go! Stay !Go ! Stay",
Poetry by Kovacs Alexandra
< comments > / Marius Surleac
there's a "won't" and a "were" and a "can't".
Also, the poetics are just in the first st
on "Go! Stay !Go ! Stay",
Poetry by Kovacs Alexandra
My sincere opinion... / Cătărău Alina - Andreea
I hope that I'm not hurting your feelings, but your poem gave the sensation that it's simplistic.
on "you",
Poetry by radulescu cristina
< comments > / Veronica Valeanu
Cristina, it is recommended for you to read more, analyse what you read in terms of poetic message,
on "is it a beautiful thing?",
Poetry by radulescu cristina
I hope that you will like it / radulescu cristina
it was my first poem
on "you",
Poetry by radulescu cristina
I hope that you will like it / radulescu cristina
Please, tell me what you think about it
on "is it a beautiful thing?",
Poetry by radulescu cristina
i understand... / Corina Gina Papouis
that feelings get in the way of life and we write about them...all the time...I think it would be go
on "something",
Personals by radulescu cristina
I hope that you will like it / radulescu cristina
I wrote it cause I was so unhappy and I hoped that somebody will read it and will understand what I
on "something",
Personals by radulescu cristina
I'm also aware of my own limitations :) / Cătărău Alina - Andreea
Thank you very much for the comment. I know that it doesn't flows and I had some doubts if I should
on "I wish upon a star to change my ways",
Personals by Cătărău Alina - Andreea
alina / Corina Gina Papouis
it takes a bit more to elevate this text to literature, they are pure thoughts, as you also stated a
on "I wish upon a star to change my ways",
Personals by Cătărău Alina - Andreea
It's true:) / Cătărău Alina - Andreea
I read your poem and I must admit that I feel the same. Who doesn't want a friend like that or even
on "alone in my mind",
Personals by Mitocariu Irina
to Corina Gina Papouis / Cătărău Alina - Andreea
Thank you for the advice. I'll think of it.
Regards
Alina
on "When roses die",
Personals by Cătărău Alina - Andreea
hmm... / Corina Gina Papouis
it starts ok, but towards the end is becoming too crowded with the word 'soul', the mystery gone,
on "A little control",
Poetry by Stocheciu Iulian Gabriel
< comments > / slavchyk
relevant to our time
on "The echo...",
Poetry by Mihai
< comments > / Corina Gina Papouis
please use a spell checker prior to posting texts. thank you!
on "symbol of truth",
Personals by Givemore Manyengawana